Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Re-Useable Crochet Tampon (Link to Pattern)

I didn't follow a pattern for these. I looked at a picture from someone else's pattern and then sort of crocheted. Also, I just used cotton yarn I had on hand instead of natural un-dyed cotton which I think would be healthier. I'll let you know how well it works.

My inspiration for it came from this free pattern: CLICK HERE


It opens for easier cleaning...

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Re-Useable Cloth Menstrual Pads

After trying a few free patterns online, a friend generously emailed me her pattern and tutorial. I like her pattern for two reasons - one, she had bigger sizes. The free ones I tried were on the small side. Two, the liner (seen in green/brown) is separate from the pads themselves rather than being all-in-one or pocket-style. This way, if the flow is light, you can change the pad without changing the liner. This comes in handy because the waterproof fabric I used for the liners is PUL.  PUL was created by Satan, and Satan hates me. It is a P.I.T.A. to sew. Using it in a few liners instead of a few dozen pads is nice.

This particular set is going to a friend who paid me to make them (hurray!). I also now have a few different ones to use for myself. The pads are made from organic cotton/hemp fabric with what I think is purple velour. I got it free from a friend so I don't know for sure but it is super soft.

Now that my vulva has experience this fabric, I've decided I also need to make my own panties with velour(?) lining. It's divine, as is my vulva.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Kick-Ass Crafting

To my 33 loyal fans - YOU cannot crochet and be a tough girl at the same time. Apparently. Saith random stranger Peg Aloi on the Huffington Post.

"Maybe "having it all" was a silly fantasy that ultimately made women feel exhausted and inferior. Maybe we just wanted to sit on our asses and knit and eat cupcakes in our Hello Kitty jammies.

And now that so many women have seemingly retreated from our reign of awesomeness to immerse themselves in the feminine past-times of yesteryear, it does indeed appear that we've lost sight of what it means to be a badass, strong, tough woman...

...This weird retro world of cooking, heirloom tomatoes and Jane Austen is starting to feel a bit smug and smothering. Where's the fun?"

Peg goes on to extol the virtues of such shining examples of feminist bad-assery as Courtney Love,  a drug addict who lost custody of her daughter because she couldn't grow up and take responsibility, and Buffy The Vampire Slayer, a non-existent television hero who battles imaginary creatures. Dude, seriously?

"There are tough times ahead, and we need to be tough bitches to face them. Growing vegetables is useful; but so is learning how to shoot a gun, hot-wire a car, and manipulate our way into a bomb shelter."

(rolling my eyes at you. this is a kindness)

So, ladies, behold your "girly" and "complacent" inability to be "tough," "intelligent," and "no-nonsense."

Hmm. Creative and creepy, but since it involves sewing, it's domestic and therefore girly. Keep trying.

Physics cupcakes from quaint_idea. VERY intelligent, but Peg specifically said, "Women are girly. Again. Don't believe me? The proof is in the blogosphere: Women who blog about cupcakes." You made cupcakes and then posted them on the internet. You can't possibly rock.

Pattern and kit from Subversive Cross Stitch. Incidentally, Peg mentions Xena: Warrior Princess, and in "The Black Wolf" episode, it comes out that Xena does embroidery.
Diomedes: You embroider.
Xena: I have many skills.
Never mind that 2 days after this tutorial and recipe were posted, the INVENTOR of the Rubik's Cube emailed her about how he liked the cake. It's a CAKE, honey. Made in a KITCHEN. Possibly while BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT.

 A collection of knitting patterns from a Roller Derby team? What the hell???

Artist Shauna Richardson crocheted this mofo. CROCHETED. What a waste of skill and "tough gal" spirit.

Dude, you can't put "Sew" and "Subversive" in the same book title unless that title is "How Sewing Automatically Excludes You From Being Subversive."

Don't even get me started on GARDENING. How can a woman who runs her own farm and magazine and food business and delights in sewing APRONS be badass?

"She's an organic farmer who grew up canning garden-fresh food and wearing hand-sewn clothes. After stints as a single mother, carpenter, and wilderness ranger, MaryJane purchased a five-acre homestead in Idaho, sight unseen. Since then, she's been farming this land — and then 100 more adjacent acres, after she married a neighbor farmer — in high style." (source link)

Harumph. That's not so tough. Anyone can run a farm. Your overweight mom can run a farm. It doesn't take a genius to cut wood and build things with it. Aprons are are wimps. Wimps who COOK. In that previously mentioned KITCHEN.

It's a knitting tattoo. A KNITTING TATTOO. Only girly girls get tattoos, especially big ones in a prominent place.

This badass quilt is brought to you by the wimpy craft of quilting.


You can't actually CALL your cupcake business Kickass Cupcakes, Sara Ross! That's CHEATING!


Not only did artist Therea Honeywell knit over a perfectly serviceable and badass motorcycle, she knit it PINK. Only a woman made to feel "exhausted and inferior" would stoop to such levels.


Oh, for crying out loud! Is that a knitting cake??? Edible dessert that looks eerily like a real basket full of yarn?? The women at The Artisan Bake Shop are wasting their feminist heritage!! You can't just up and own your own business by utilizing your talents to BAKE!


Mmmmm ... sexy werewolf cross stitch ... I mean (ahem) GIRLY cross stitch. As in, many of the girls I know would appreciate this cross stitch chart.

As you can see, the world of crafting and baking is flooded with women who would rather sit on their couches playing with yarn than become an alcoholic or ignorant Huffington Post freelance writer. "Feminine pastimes" are mere distractions from wearing leather and committing grand theft auto.

"“Dear Peg Aloi,

I was an officer in the Army Reserves for 11 years and an ROTC cadet in a male dominated organizati­on for 4 years before that. I have two college degrees plus a 3rd degree black belt in karate and a 2nd degree black belt in kobudo. I'm a podcaster, artist and writer and happily self-emplo­yed. I also sew, knit, bake, craft, and let my girls wear pink whenever it suits them.

The last I checked, being feminist meant making I made my own decisions and did what I wanted to do without having to live up to other people's bull-crap artificial standards.

So bite me, fan girl. I am a feminist.”" - (commenter on Peg Aloi's article)

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Elf Hat with Disobedient Curl

This would be 100% more adorable if I could get the curl on top to not flop to one side. When I figure it out I'll post the pattern.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Another Gnome

I am much more pleased with how this cape turned out but managed to do weird things to the hat. It's cute but not where I want it. I have a renewed respect for pattern makers - much trial and error has gone into this gnome pattern and I'm STILL not done tweaking it.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

My New Homesewn Baby Carrier

I made this following THIS tutorial (CLICK HERE)
 I forgot that my ginormous baby weighs ginormous pounds and is ginormous inches tall, so I should have made the hood many inches longer. Nevertheless, I am in love, and getting the hang of this carrier.
The fabric was a gift for an entirely different project, but I love it so much I could not resist it. Also, I haven't added the little tabs that hold those hood strings up.

I was really eager to get this done because I gave away my Moby Wrap to a total stranger. Not saying this to toot my own horn, but I ran into a single mom in the ER room a few weeks ago with an infant recovering from hernia surgery. She asked me where I got my carrier and without thinking I gave mine to her and showed her how to wear it. Moira was starting to get too heavy for it anyway, but it definitely left me scurrying to make a replacement.

This one is not as comfortable as my Sutemi Pack but it it is definitely easier to use. Moira and I are still trying to master the back carry without Daddy's help. The important part, though, is that it is stinkin' adorable.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Copyright Infringement

So, I'm wasting time browsing through Ravelry while breastfeeding my Adorable, when suddenly I come across someone's really awesome Brain Slug hat. I click on it to add it to my queue, and low and behold, not only is she selling it for a profit, she also had the audacity to add the tag line "You may not sell the finished product."

No, actually, I CANNOT sell the finished product. Know why? It's a copyrighted character from an animated television series and you are breaking the law by profiting from the reproduction of the character.

She may as well have pirated the whole Futurama series, offered it up for sale, and the added "Redistribution or commercial use is prohibited."

This does not fall under Fair Use, as Etsy clearly states, which is where the Brain Slug hat pattern is for sale.

I wanted to report it, but both Etsy and Ravelry only take complaints from the copyright owners, and frankly I'm sure Matt Groening has better things to do with his time. It still makes me angry that someone is taking advantage of Futurama fans and trying to make money off of a stolen character.

Another person who created an amigurumi pattern even had the nerve to claim her crochet Brain Slug pattern is the original.

So, for Futurama Brain Slug Fans everywhere, here is a link to a FREE amigurumi pattern for a Futurama Brain Slug.  And, here is another link to another free amigirumi Brain Slug pattern.

And if you want a Brain Slug hat, just find any ruffled hat pattern, attach two antennae and make them stand out by putting extra stuffing in them, crochet a white circle for the giant eyeball, and then add a small black circle or a big black button for the pupil. Then post a picture on Ravelry and make sure your pattern is FREE.

Also, I'm saying Brain Slug a lot so that people googling crochet Brain Slug will find this blog post more easily.

Brain Slug.

Also, here's a free crochet TARDIS pattern, a free crochet Dalek pattern, a free crochet Bender pattern, and a free crochet Cthulhu pattern. I don't even know what a Cthulhu is, but it appears to be popular.

Brain Slug. Brain Slug.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Peg People For Fairy Day: Free Tutorial and Patterns


I whipped up these cuties this evening in honor of Fairy Day, June 24. We are still deciding whether they need hair or pointy hats. meanwhile, though, I wrote down the patterns for the wings and took photographs. Even while stopping to write and rewrite patterns, they only took me about an hour.



I started by taking some thin pattern fabric (you can buy it at fabric stores for tracing paper patterns) and wrapping it around a peg. I then took a blue pencil to try and trace a shape. I'm sure other people are better at this than me, but this is what I came up with:


I pinned it to some fleece and then glued the fleece around the peg person. This is how it looks from the back:


This is how it looks from the front:


I have a notebook where I write down patterns as I try them out. My first shot at butterfly wings came out too long in the back.


In the end I settled on two different wing patterns, ones that looked like a butterfly and ones that look like leafy wings. If I make those second ones in black, I bet they'd make great bat wings.


Peg Person Crochet Butterfly Wings

Size H Hook (or larger if your stitches tend to be tight)

Worsted weight yarn

To begin, chain (ch) 2. Single Crochet (sc) 4 times in the beginning ch

Round (Rnd) 1: (sc, half double crochet, sc) in each sc around - 12 stitches total

Rnd 2: Slip Stitch (Sl St) and sc in the next sc, 3 hdc in the next hdc, sc and sl st in the next sc. Repeat this pattern one more time. Sl st in the next sc, 3 hdc in the next hdc, sl st in the next sc. repeat this pattern one more time. - 24 stitches total

Rnd 3: Sl st in the next st, sc in the next st, sc and hdc in the next st, dc in the next st, hdc and sc in the next st, sc in the next st, sl st in the next st. repeat this pattern only once more and then finish off (tie a knot and then weave your ends into the butterfly with either a small hook or yarn needle to hide them. I prefer a yarn needle, myself).

Peg Person Crochet Leafy Wings

Ch 2, 3 sc in the beginning ch

Row 1: Ch1, turn, 2 sc in the first sc, 1 sc in the next sc, 2 sc in the last sc - 5 sts total

Row 2: Ch 1, 1 sc in each sc across - 5 sts

Row 3: Ch 1, turn, sc decrease the first 2 sc's together, 1 sc in the next sc, sc decrease - 3 sts

Row 4: Ch 1, turn, sc in each sc across - 3 sts

Row 5: Ch 1, turn, sc all 3 sc together (insert hook in first sc, pull up a loop, insert hook in the next sc, pull up a loop, insert hook in the last sc, pull up a loop, yarn over and pull through all the loops on the hook)

Finish off.

Go back to the beginning of the wing, sl st into it, and ch 3 in that space (here's a picture)


Repeat rows 1 through 5 to make the second wing. You can either finish off for the jagged look I have, or continue on and sc evenly around the outside edge for a smoother finish.

Glue wings to peg people.

These wooden peg figures can be found at most craft stores and fit nicely into a German birthday ring.


Notice the added facial features on that bee, courtesy of my 2 year old and a permanent marker.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Crochet Boy's Hat - Pattern To Follow Later

Okay, this could be a girl's hat, too, but there aren't enough boy patterns out there, not in sewing or knitting or crocheting or anything. I crocheted this hat to donate to my local Head Start program, and people are always making and donating cute girl hats with flowers and poofy pinkness and lace. There are never enough boy things to go around.


I used Vanna's Choice acrylic yarn. It needed to be very washable, but I also wanted it soft, and her yarn is softer to the touch than Red Heart Super Saver.

This is how it looks with the bottom edge folded up, if they don't want it down completely over the ears. I used a v-stitch in one row to make it easier to fold. A v-stitch leaves lots of gaps, so there's less yarn in that row and less resistance when folding.